The Power of Saying Thank You

Early in my leadership journey, I took part in a feedback exercise that still sticks with me.

Picture this: you’re standing in the middle of a circle, surrounded by your peers and leader. Each person shares one thing you could do better - on anything from your leadership to your communication to your attitude. Your only permitted response? A simple: “Thank you for your feedback.” No justifying. No clarifying. No defending.

At the time it was daunting, and like any method it had its pro’s and its cons. But the real gold in the exercise was in the discipline of receiving feedback without flinching or firing back. It taught me a lesson I’ve tried to use ever since: the power of acknowledging someone else’s perspective without immediately needing to challenge or fix it.

And it’s not just about our behaviours. Often, the feedback we’re most reactive to is about our ideas. We take it personally. We get defensive. We try to win the moment, rather than understand the message. We’ve all been guilty of this - myself included. But here’s the thing: most people aren’t trying to derail your thinking or criticise for the sake of it. They’re just seeing things differently. They’re trying to help. And typically they want the same outcome you do - they just have a different way of getting there. When we forget that, we fall into a few common traps: We interrupt We dismiss We defend and argue instead of listening In doing so, we reveal more about ourselves: namely that we are defensive and poor listeners.

There’s a practice I’ve found incredibly useful - especially when conversations get challenging: Listening to the end. Not halfway. Not until you think you’ve “got the gist.” But actually hearing the other person out, fully. It’s harder than it sounds. I have a teenage daughter. In her social circles, if listening all the way to the end earned you a medal, then the best anyone would get would be a participation ribbon – and that’s being generous. But it's not just teenagers. Adults aren’t immune. Leaders aren’t immune. None of us are. And the moment we stop listening, we stop learning.

So here’s what I try to come back to:

Do:

• Say thank you when someone offers feedback—on you or your idea.
• Listen to the end. Fully.
• Ask questions. Get curious, not combative.

Don’t:

• Interrupt.
• Jump straight to “why it won’t work.”
• Hold onto your idea like it’s the only map that leads to the goal.

Of course, there’s a time for debate. I’m all for constructive challenge - it’s how we sharpen thinking and improve outcomes. But the best leaders I know manage to disagree without being dismissive. They invite different perspectives, not shut them down.

If you want to lead well, build trust, and grow, it starts with how you listen. So the next time someone offers a perspective, even one you’re not loving - pause. Resist the urge to react. And practice the above. It won’t just make you a better leader. It’ll make you easier to follow