The Goodbye Test

I recently heard a quote attributed to Phil Knight, the founder of Nike, that resonated with me:

“The single easiest way to find out how you feel about someone? Say Goodbye.”

In a work context, he explains it something like this.

When a C player resigns, there’s often a quiet sense of relief. You might not say it out loud, but internally you’re thinking, “Okay… we’ll manage.” When a solid B player leaves, you genuinely wish them well and know they’ll be missed, but you also know the team will adapt. But when an A player tells you they’re going, there’s a proper pit in your stomach. You immediately feel the gap they will leave. You start mentally reshuffling responsibilities before they’ve even finished the sentence.

Your reaction tells you something.

It tells you who genuinely raises the standard around you. It tells you who brings energy, clarity and impact to the business. It tells you who you should probably be thinking about retaining before the recruiter calls them (which they probably have already). And it tells you, just as clearly, where the real weight of contribution in your team actually sits.

Plus, and this is just as important if not more so, it tells you who you enjoy having in the team or in the business. Because when that special person leaves, your days just got slightly less brighter.

These aren’t just interesting observations. They’re cues. But cues are just cues unless you act on them. Too many leaders wait until someone resigns to realise how much they mattered. If you already know who would create a gap, the real question isn’t what you’d say in their farewell speech. It’s what you’re doing now to make sure they feel valued, stretched and seen before the market does it for you. And occasionally, if you genuinely can’t offer someone their next chapter inside your business, the more mature move is to help them find it elsewhere, with support rather than resentment.

But there’s a broader concept here too which is beyond retention and talent strategy. You can run the goodbye test in advance.

Look across your team and ask yourself, if this person resigned tomorrow, what would my honest reaction be? Relief? Mild concern? Real concern? Proper panic? Or perhaps even hysteria (if the latter you may want to take a beat on your stress levels....just saying)

That internal response is data. Not for you to share at the next team meeting obviously (although that would be fascinating), but for you to really think about what it’s pointing to. Where you need to invest, where you need to raise expectations, and where you may need to have braver conversations.

And it doesn’t stop at work. He suggests taking it further.

Imagine a close friend told you they were moving overseas and you wouldn’t see them regularly anymore. Would you feel genuinely sad? Slightly inconvenienced? Or quietly fine?

This isn’t a moral judgement but rather real clarity. Who adds something meaningful to your life? Who brightens you? Who would leave a noticeable gap in your week if they weren’t there?

And then there’s the slightly uncomfortable reverse test or perhaps we could even call it a self-awareness test…This assumes you are the one going.

Would there be a pit in their stomach? Or would someone quietly think, “Well… we’ll adapt.” Or perhaps (and I hesitate to even suggest it) would they feel… relieved? Maybe even suspiciously upbeat? Now, this isn’t something to obsess over or turn into a late-night spiral. But it is a useful mirror.

Because in the end, what we’re really measuring isn’t just performance. It’s impact.

Most people optimise for output. For targets hit, emails sent, meetings attended, boxes ticked. Far fewer stop to consider the deeper question of impact. The difference they make in a room, the standard they set, the energy they create, the way people feel after interacting with them. That’s usually where the real difference is made.

Are you making a meaningful difference to the people you lead, the people you work alongside, and the people you interact with every day?

Are you raising the standard, adding energy and creating value?

If the honest answer is that you’re not having the impact you want in the areas that matter most to you (be it at work or home), that’s not a reason for shame but rather it’s a signal.

A signal that something may need to shift. In how you show up, in what you prioritise, in where you’re investing your time and energy, or perhaps even in the environment you’ve placed yourself in.

So run the goodbye test. Sit with whatever it shows you. It may be uncomfortable, but that’s not really the point. The point is clarity. About who you value, where you need to take action, and perhaps most confronting of all, about the impact you’re actually having on the people around you.