Acknowledge - Don't Argue

In my executive coaching work a challenge that comes up constantly is how to handle different perspectives in meetings and keep things moving.

Most leaders assume the fastest way forward is to push their point and convince others. Ironically that’s usually what slows everything down. Even if people don’t argue in the moment, what often happens is they leave the meeting feeling unheard, the discussion gets relitigated later, side conversations start, and the decision comes back onto the table anyway. And of course trust takes a hit when people feel their input isn’t valued. In other words, the lack of acknowledgement costs you time and trust afterwards, even if the meeting itself looked like it moved quickly.

There’s a much simpler approach.

Before jumping in to defend your position, acknowledge the other person’s point. Something as simple as "thanks for raising that, I appreciate the perspective".

This isn’t about agreeing. It’s about recognising their contribution. 

Psychologically it makes a big difference. When someone feels dismissed their identity feels threatened, their ego steps into defence mode and the conversation hardens. Research in psychology shows that when people feel understood their defensiveness drops and they become far more open to discussion.

And I think most of us have been guilty of missing this at times, myself included. When you’re convinced about a direction or you’ve invested a lot in a view it’s easy to double down. The irony is that pushing harder often creates resistance you didn’t need. Many times the other person simply wants to be acknowledged not followed.

So if there’s one simple shift worth trying it’s this.

Make your first instinct to acknowledge rather than argue.

Try it in your next meeting and notice what happens.